I was deep in thought about what to write today. I am trying to be consistent with my writing, especially since I discovered that words come out of me in the form of emotions. I read a chapter back in high school by a Hindi writer who categorized writers into three types. The first type needs external pressure—like money or a boss. The second type, which I think I fall into, writes simply because they want to, without any external force. And the third type... well, I forgot. What do you expect from me? I even forget my own birthday on the day of my birthday.

I decided to write about how I perceive love. Not just the cinematic romance, but love in general. I think many people misunderstand my perspective. I don't know who is going to read this, but if someone does, they might get a glimpse into how my mind works.

Love is a massive, complex concept. No one can ever fully decode it. We can only guess its mechanics by combining different perspectives. Consider this log my contribution to that dataset.

In my view, love should be expressed like autumn: once in a while. Imagine experiencing autumn 24/7, 365 days a year. It would become the most boring season. That is my point—the constant, regular expression of love dilutes its value.

I don't like confessing my feelings, especially feelings of love, to anyone. Whether it is family, friends, or a crush (that is the hardest one, so it is off the list for now). I actually prefer people who operate the same way, like my brothers. I genuinely appreciate that dynamic. I feel intimidated by people who express love constantly. I often think they might be faking it, or at least, it doesn't feel real to me. I just don't like it.

Maybe it is because I haven't experienced that kind of constant expression before. Obviously, there are close people who care a lot about me (I think, or maybe I am wrong). But sometimes, when I see a mother caring so deeply for her child, I feel like this matrix is incredibly unfair. Maybe I should have had that chance too. But simultaneously, I realize that maybe I am built differently..maybe I am special, and that is why my path is like this. But then the thought strikes: "What exactly is so special about me?" The questioning always loops back and stops right there. I am still trying to figure out if the system is just unfair, or if I am genuinely special.

That is why some energy designed me to never confess or express things directly. Many call it egoistic. Really? If I could project my mind's thoughts into a 3D diagram, the architecture would look more complex than the mirror dimension where Spider-Man and Doctor Strange fought for that magical artifact in *No Way Home*.

Anyway, my brain has already started releasing dopamine

because I just successfully finished writing another log.

And please, do not leave any deep comments related to this topic. I really don't want to find myself squinting with one eye and covering the other with my fingers out of sheer awkwardness while reading them. You can stick to the safe classics like "wow," "nice," "keep going," blah

blah blah. Thanks.